new mexico: around the cabin

We stayed in a little house with an A-frame front to it in Jemez Springs, New Mexico for four nights.  It was really perfect:  we each had our own room, the living room was cozy (though big enough that we easily did yoga together in it!), and the kitchen was reasonable.  There was a swing set that made me long for my littles--how much fun they would have on it!--and decks at several layers, the house being built into a slope.  The air smelled like vanilla from the Ponderosa pines, and we could hear the creek rustling right by.

I slept without having to wake and nurse a toddler, we lingered at breakfast, considering our options for the day, writing together at eleven o'clock.  We visited a myriad of places while we were there:  twice to the caldera, once to Los Alamos (where we were a little startled at the propaganda-laden science museum and a bit alarmed at having to show our IDs at little booths in and out of town), went to the nearby hot springs, etc.  

We watched a documentary on hula dancers performing a piece based on the legend of Pele one night and another, Jaws, a favorite of two of our members.  Now, sometimes you can find me singing, "Show me the way to go home... I'm tired and I wanna go to bed..." and my daughter has created new lyrics:  instead of "I had a little drink about an hour ago," she says, "I had a drink of lemonade any hour ago!" (and it went right to my head). 

Finding my way outside of my home space was so crucial at this end of summer time.  As I was telling my compatriots, never can I do anything without having some part of me--half, more often more--elsewhere.  Listening for the kids, the standard set of disruptions.  I love them, but when I get into something, am in a rhythm, something inside of me cries out when I has to stop, is confused at taking back up the thread.  I've gotten better at this switching, but this trip--it was so nice to not have to have that mama-self trailing.  Ever-present, it cannot be abandoned or turned off, but I could, for a little bit, know my children were well with their father and his mother, two of the best caretakers I've ever been lucky enough to be around, so I can feel at ease when I take this annual five-day retreat.